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The Hacksaw Ridge star, Andrew Garfield; admitted he felt “some guilt” over not fulfilling the societal expectation of having a family by this milestone.
Speaking to British GQ for its Men of the Year issue, Garfield opened up about embracing a different path. “Oh, God. Where do I start with why it didn’t happen? No, it’s more about accepting a different path than what was kind of expected of me from birth. Like, ‘By this time you will have done this, and you will have at least one child’—that kind of thing. I think I have some guilt around that. And obviously, it’s easier for me as a man.”
Despite that internal conflict, Garfield seemed to be making peace with it. His 40th birthday didn’t feel quite real yet, but he was looking forward to the celebration. “It’s interesting. It feels far off. I need to start thinking about a good party. If I organize something fun, it’ll be great. And the good news is, all my high school friends, we’re all celebrating together.”
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Still, the contrast between his expectations and reality wasn’t lost on him. “I always thought I would be the first to have kids and settle down, and they’re all shacked up and a couple of kids deep, for the most part. Releasing myself from the societal obligation of procreating by the time I’m 40 has been an interesting thing to do with myself.”
Beyond societal pressures, Garfield had personal reasons for reflecting on fatherhood. His mother, Lynn, passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2019. The thought of her not meeting his future children weighed on him. “Life seems to be a perpetual practice of letting shit go. Letting go of an idea of how a thing should look, or be, or feel. And that one’s a big one [to let go of], because of course I would’ve loved my mum to have met my kids, if I’m going to have kids.”
But he found comfort in the idea that she’d still be present. “She’ll be there for it. I know she’s there, for all the big ones. But, yeah. Life, life, life. Life is in charge. We’ll see. We’ll see what happens. I’m curious.”
Garfield had previously shared that his mother’s passing came just before the pandemic. At the time, he had wrapped Angels in America on Broadway and was preparing for Tick, Tick… Boom!—a film that would later earn him an Oscar nomination.
Now, as he entered his forties, Garfield seemed more focused on embracing the unknown. He wasn’t shutting the door on family life but was choosing to live on his own timeline.
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