Lady Gaga has a tribunal past, and she hasn’t shied away from talking about it. In the premiere episode of Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry‘s new Apple TV+ unscripted series, The Me You Can’t See, the Grammy winner recalled her painful past and spoke about her experience as a s*xual assault survivor.
In this first episode of the five-part series, the 35-year-old pop star let viewers into her darkest moments and recalled her painful past as she spoke about her heartbreaking story. Read all she said below.
Recalling the time a producer threatened her to take off her clothes else her music would be burnt, Lady Gaga said, “I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off’. And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze and I—I don’t even remember.” A tearful and uncomfortable Gaga added, “I do not ever want to face that person again.”
Lady Gaga first spoke about her s*xual assault in a 2014 radio interview with Howard Stern. In 2016 she opened up about her PTSD diagnosis. During the episode of ‘The Me You Can’t See,’ the Poker Face singer said that her buried pain manifested in a physical way that caused numbing in her body.
Sharing details of the nonconsensual s*x which led to her pregnancy, she said, “First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who r*ped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner, at my parent’s house because I was vomiting and sick. Because I’d been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.”
As a result of the trauma, Lady Gaga revealed she had a “total psychotic break” and wasn’t the same for years. The Bad Romance singer also added that she had experienced self-harm, cutting and throwing herself against the wall. She said, “I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl. The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was r*ped. I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they don’t find nothing. But your body remembers.”
The Rain On Me singer, while speaking about self-harm, said, “You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Hey, look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help.”
Lady Gaga shared a sound piece of advice for all suffering any form of trauma and harming themselves. She said, “I always tell people, ‘Tell somebody. Don’t show somebody.'”