Rating: 1/5 Stars (One Star)
Star cast: Ali Zafar, Yami Gautam, Anupam Kher, Kirron Kher
Director: E Niwas
What’s Good: The film might have been stellar on paper given that there were glimpses of intelligence in parts.
What’s Bad: Everything else was pale in the film.
Loo break: Too many!
Watch or Not?: Total Siyapaa is a must never watch degree of boring film. Despite being framed on a lush and interesting premise there wasn’t enough steam to drive it forward. With a limp screenplay, lacking in sprightly moments, this film is droopingly dull and horribly bland. I am appalled to see a lame affair like this coming out of Neeraj Pandey’s banner.
Total Siyapaa, as the name suggests, traces the life of a cuckoo family. An expat story essentially, Asha (Yami Gautam) is on the brink of introducing her Pakistani fiance Aman (Ali Zafar) to her loud Punjabi brethren. The day starts off bad as Aman becomes a victim of false target by the police.
Asha conceals from her family the truth about Aman’s nationality. But all hell breaks loose when the truth is unraveled. The savagely Pakistan hating brother of Asha is a menace and amidst all this Aman in an accident almost kills Asha’s father. Will this day end well? Or the Siyapaa will take a toll on them?
Total Siyapaa Review: Script Analysis
Where was the script? Perhaps scattered incidents sewed together framed the basic plotline of the film but the novelty of the India-Pakistan banter runs out quite early in the film. Definitely the treatment is fresh as the film refrains from a political or social commentary about the state of a animosity existing between the two countries. The idea must have sounded crackling on paper but the rendering was flat to say the least.
Somehow the film lacked the required depth. There was no sincerity or earnestness in the story and hence the lack of connection was inevitable. It was a sorry affair of sorts that became so convoluted that even your pity runs out. With multiple wobbly tracks running parallel-ly, the lame and flat scheme of things turn into a distasteful mess.
If you count it as a romantic comedy, then the warmth and froth was quite absent from the film. Though the first impression is indeed that Ali and Yami are well cast, the script holds no place for them to exhibit any ounce of the exhilarating chemistry that the trailer promised to us. Loud characters, over the top screeching conveys that the subtle wit of Pandey is conspicuously missing.
I can’t pronounce how flat the tracks in the film came across as. Here’s a film without a soul, mechanical in its mores and flat to the core.
Total Siyapaa Review: Star Performances
Ali Zafar is heart-breakingly bad. He is uninteresting and not in one scene is the actor used well.
The same goes for Yami. I have no idea why she decided to waste herself over a sad film like this.
If you are expecting Anupam Kher and Kirron Kher to save this film, then keep dreaming. The lady Kher is too loud and Mr. Kher is lost in the unnecessary complexities of the story.
Total Siyapaa Review: Direction, Editing and Screenplay
E. Niwas goes massively wrong in his storytelling. Though Neeraj Pandey’s script has enough matter to hold on to, Niwas fabricates a shabby tapestry out of it. Wasting the caliber of a marvelous team at disposal, the onus for the failure of it all rests on Niwas’ shoulders.
The film’s screenplay is dismantled within five minutes of the film starting and after that the film finds no anchor to hold on to. The film’s screenplay and editing are both amongst the weakest ones of the venture that keeps pulling down the overall product.
Even the music doesn’t offer anything kind to the audiences.
Total Siyapaa Review: The Last Word
Total Siyapaa is audaciously maddening. Even the slight magic that the story might have had gets butchered in the screenplay. Leaving behind no feeling, neither comedy nor romance, I have not an inkling of an idea what were the makers trying to create here. It could have been something flattering if it were in the right hands. I am going with 1/5 for this misguided, shaky venture that might be the right recipe of boring you to death.
Total Siyapaa Trailer
Total Siyapaa releases on 7th March, 2014.
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