The AIB Knockout was a one night event where Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor were taken down a notch by AIB and some special celebrity guests including Alia Bhatt, Sonakshi Sinha, Karan Johar, Anurag Kashyap et al – LIVE on stage. Their lives, movies and insecurities – nothing was spared, turning out to be the most no-holds-barred comedic event of the year.
The way it worked was, team AIB threw funniest, nastiest and most politically incorrect insults at Ranveer and Arjun, and all they had to do was grin and bear it. Well, we found the entire show hilarious, but found some jokes cracked on the celebs even more hilarious.
Take a look at 25 Best Jokes On Alia, Karan Johar, Ranveer, Arjun, Deepika, Sonakshi:
1. I am not saying that Ranveer Singh does shit films, but the last good thing he was in was Deepika Padukone.
2. Ranveer, you are such a sleaze that you don’t get turned on unless Deepika uses a pepper spray on you.
3. Ranveer Singh completed four years in the movie industry – one year of acting and three years about getting over Anushka Sharma.
4. Arjun Kapoor, you dropped those kilos faster than Deepika dropped her dating standards.
5. You did an ad for durex- It is the first time I saw a condom being endorsed by an STD.
6. Deepika is a state level badminton player and Ranveer is a national level sex offender.
7. Ranveer is a big fan of ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, that film makes him reach out for a box of tissue, because he is the only guy who will jerk of to Farida Jalal.
8. We wanted to get Ranbir Kapoor for the show but we could only manage Ranveer, which is also what Deepika did, so I guess it is fine.
9. Rohan Joshi recently moved from Malabar Hills to Santa Cruz, that’s like moving from Ranbir Kapoor to Ranveer Singh.
10. You are so Sindhi Ranveer that you insist that your girlfriends bring back the receipts from the abortion clinic.
11. You are such a pervert Ranveer that the photograph of Deepika Padukone in TOI was taken by you.
12. Ranveer Singh is on Tinder or as he likes to call it flipkart.
13. How does it feel to be the only sad person in the country everytime Virat Kohli scores a century Ranveer Singh?
14. Deepika as a woman, I would thank you for dating Ranveer, thank you for keeping him off the streets.
15. Ranveer Singh is so horny that if he f@#*&% a chick with Ebola she would die of AIDS first
16. Before we begin, I’d like to thank the entire panel for coming out today…and Karan for not.
17. Karan Johar is now best friends with Anurag Kashyap so he can get some, like, indie cred. It is the first time in Bollywood that someone has slept their way to the bottom.
18. Karan, you’re exactly like the movies you make; you both have massive openings.
19. You guys know “Lootera” was based on O. Henry story called The Last Leaf, because ate the rest of the leaves. I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding, man. Sonakshi, doesn’t eat salads.
20. Look at the fucking Arjun Kapoor smiling, the creepiest smile in the world. Arjun, you smile is so creepy, that even Shakti Kapoor looks at it, even he checks his top buttons.
21. Ranveer and Arjun, you’ve been an inspiration to the youth of this country. You guys send out the message out loud and clear that if you work and preserve then one day you, too, can suck Adi Chopra’s cock.
22. Seriously, Rajeev Masand, stop calling yourself a journalist. Every time you call yourself a journalist, ISIS beheads a real one. Meanwhile, Alia in the front row has no idea what the fuck is ISIS.
23. Arjun failed the twelfth standard and after that he lost a lot of weight. He’s Smriti Irani, in reverse.
24. In Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, an enormously fat child magically grows up to be Hrithik Roshan. You bastard, you ruined Tanmay’s life.
25. Fun Fact: Gursimran Khamba’s dad’s name – I’m not making this up – is Manmohan Singh. This just goes to show that if your name is Manmohan Singh, zindagi mein ek chutiye baccha ko toh paalna hi padega.